If you’ve followed the evolution of Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle newsletter called GOOP, you know that it has some detractors. A few of her topics have been downright skewered in some popular blogs (this one chock full of oh-so-helpful tips from millionaire women about how hard-working Moms can better manage their busy lives comes to mind). Yeah, some of her stuff is out of touch. But I do love her city-based travel guides if only for their rare, personal glimpse into the gilded travel style of a celebrity (her choice of hotels and eateries are just a bit out of my price range, but dreamy anyway).
Imagine my surprise. Ms. Paltrow’s newsletter from Thursday is all about etiquette, specifically etiquette for houseguests.
Since a lot of Casa Casa members spend a good deal of their travel time being houseguests, I thought I’d give it a read. Turns out the Q&A with Harper’s Bazaar editor Derek Blasberg has more to do with visiting someone’s house for a swanky dinner party than staying in someone’s guest room. Oh, well. I read on anyway. Guest etiquette is guest etiquette, right?
Right off the bat, a gem. You’re hosting a dinner party and your guest brings a bottle of wine. It happens a lot right? And here’s where I’m always confused. Is this a present, like for me? For later? Or am I supposed to open your bottle of wine and share it with you on the spot?
Here’s Derek Blasberg’s tip for the guest – bring room-temperature champagne so it’s clear that it’s a host gift, and there is no obligation to serve it. Lovely idea!
Moving on. Is it the host’s or the guests’ responsibility to make a note of dietary restrictions? As a vegetarian, it would never occur to me that my host is supposed to ask me if I have dietary restrictions. I feel it is my responsibility to tell them, and to offer to bring a dish just for myself if I am the only one, and to go out of my way to assure them that they need not do anything special for me. That’s me. The apologetic vegetarian.
Blasberg is with me on this one: “It’s ultimately up to the guest to alert the host—and only in cases of strict medical conditions or moral or religious convictions.”
After a few questions about tweeting from the dinner table and the like (seriously), Gwyneth wants to know if it’s polite or not to ask someone you’ve just met what that person does for a living. I live in Seattle, and I swear this is the first or second question out of someone’s mouth when they meet you at a party here. I don’t have a problem with it, for me it just provides context and in our work-obsessed lives and culture, it’s what a lot of people are most comfortable talking about. But I also try myself to put that question off for awhile when meeting someone new.
Finally, when staying the night at someone’s house, is it essential to bring a gift? Why, of course. Gwyneth’s friend suggests anything from farm-fresh strawberries to a cashmere throw (now that would be a houseguest I’d love to host!).
Actually, the reason Casa Casa requires a guest pay a $15 gratuity to their hosts is because it’s a token of appreciation, and helps the host cover the costs of changing the sheets and providing a little breakfast. By requiring it, you as the traveling guest don’t have to agonize over what to bring as a gift – we keep it simple. That said, if you want to bring your host a special gift on top of the gratuity, totally do it. We like to bring a sample of something from our home, something that is from Seattle like smoked salmon (which travels very well, by the way) or a bottle of Yakima Valley wine.
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